Self-Care

 We hear a lot about how parents devote themselves completely to their children. Parents leave their jobs and change their routines upside down and that goes on for years. It happens for so long, that for many of them it changes the very course of their lives.

There's a something to understand about this devotion. That this devotion may not be allowed to turn into a "sacrifice". This devotion when turns into a story of "You know, child, it's when you were born, I stopped doing... this and that". "You know I could have been someone, had it not been for my child's birth."

There's always a self-incriminating phrase in these stories. "I mean I enjoyed it all...but...".

As parents, we need to decide for ourselves why we have children before having them and once they are here - do what you can to raise them - with pleasure and pleasure alone. Let them all be choices that we make together - as two parents and the surrounding support system raising this child.

The crux of the matter is that, if you don't "indulge" in self-care - your years of care toward your child may come with an asterisk.

Care for your own careers, your passions, your travels and your social-life - if they mean a lot to you- cause without them you are not whole. If you give up some activities that define your identity, your child gets less of you. Your child gets a version of you that you yourself aren't necessarily in love with.

Because... your child learns all this, as is. 

They learn to suppress their own needs and to "sacrifice". (They get what's happening even if you keep it from them. D'oh!) There's no glory in sacrifice. It's living your life in love with yourself, that must receive the plaudits. Let's raise our children while we are in love with ourselves and our life, and then, our children will learn to love themselves.